All the intelligence of a sea slug who has had a lobotomy. Twice.

Mistakes are something he commits with aplomb.

Skill and Jones are distant cousins. Very distant. He treats skills like they are a stepchild he never wanted.

He must have been born under a lucky star to have somehow ended up as a first team player at Man Utd! Now that is luck almost beyond belief.

One thing he offers better than anyone else on a football pitch is comedy value.

Not exactly the brightest bulb in the box.

An expert in making mistakes, though they usually lead to things going right.

Not a lot of skills in the Clouseau box, but he does know how to take down Kato.

Has incredible luck, which is why no matter how wrong things go, he always seems to end up on top with things going his way.

About as funny as having major dental surgery. Sadly any comedy value he had was destroyed by Steve Martin.