He can pick up an injury just walking onto the pitch. Though it is no surprise when he puts his back out picking up his wages.

Manages to drag out injuries so they last longer than expected, sometimes many months longer.

Has perfected his social media output to make sure all know how much he is desperate to come back from his latest injury and get back to playing. For a day or two at least before the next injury.

Loves a good night out occasionally, though limits it to just 5 or 6 nights a week during the season. Most happy when sneaking outside the club for a crafty fag when no one, bar a host of paparazzi, are looking.

If anyone can convince the fans that his limited talents make him world class, it is Wilshere. The more time he spends away from the pitch, the more convinced that fans become that he is a great talent just unlucky with injuries.

Picked up a long term injury falling off a bar stool drunk in a casino. Need I say more?

Prefers a different method to avoid working for his wage. Carroll goes for the good old-fashioned constant injury niggles ruling him out. Has worked so well that he has gone beyond even the master, Darren Anderton.

Will never live up to the heights of his Bebo profile, which is comedy gold.

Never happier than when roaring drunk, no matter how much it has contributed to his injuries or how much trouble it has got him into. If being forced to room with Kevin Nolan has been unable to put him off, nothing will!

Unfortunately for Carroll, a lot of the fans have given up on him and his injuries, he has been rumbled. There are still the odd (odd being the operative word I think!) one or two fans who think his 2 games a season are worth putting up with his injuries for, but they get less and less common by the season.