The king of the crappest, most awful, Dad jokes that leave him creasing up in laughter for the next few minutes, while all listening just wonder if there is a button to mute the commentary.

His distinctive whine is almost as offputting as his jokes.

He very rarely adds anything of interest to the commentary, inanity is something he is very familiar with.

It is clear to see why he ended up failing in management, his football knowledge is about the same as a small child just discovering the game for the first time.

Regularly inserts some reminder that he did once play the game, because it was so long ago most people have forgotten.

Jokes and Owen are almost perfect strangers.

The cure for insomnia is right there, that monotone nasal drone intoning dreary comments.

If making the most pointless, inane comments was an Olympic event, Owen would be the greatest of all time. Someone pointing out the blatantly obvious seems insightful next to him.

Should really stick to horse racing. No idea if he knows anything about that either, but at least then we would be spared his attempts to comment.

It is about all he has to make himself seem relevant. He certainly has no insight or entertainment value, so referring to the fact that he once played, when injuries allowed, is all he has.