Skilled enough to judo throw Mo Salah and throw a neat elbow to concuss Loris Karius for starters. It is the same every time he plays, you know it is just a matter of time before he leaves something on someone.

Can even figure out exactly how long a player he has injured should be out for and what treatment they require, just by looking at them.

Acts like he was born to be on stage. Always ready to feign innocence after a vicious foul and to throw himself down like he has just been shot.

If ever a guy was born lucky, it is Ramos. Despite being amongst the rashest, most idiotic players ever to kick a ball, he seems to get away without getting anything like the number of red cards he should.

That hair cut. Need I say more?

Is the master of dark arts that taught Ramos pretty much all he knew. However he still has skills when the chance arises.

Is far too busy pretending to be even more badly hurt to take any notice of possible damage to opponents.

This is a man who has refined the art of pretending to be the injured party in every challenge. The incredulous look on his face is a work of art.

Never more than a decent defender but he has had the good luck to play for Real Madrid. Must have been born under a lucky star to get a gig like that!

Looks like a refugee from the 3 Stooges.